Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a man named Sven. Sven was not only a simple man, but the simplest of simple men and he truly loved his simple life. One day while listening to the same overly produced crap as was popular at the time Sven had the great idea to create a band of fat, lazy guys who could attempt to play simple songs for the simple minded. Then he talked the fattest of them into serenading the crowds with what can only be referred to as Fluffy Rock.

Now with minutes of practice under their belt, and a strong desire to do nothing, this band of misfits travels their immediate area spreading tales of woe and misery in the current music world. No longer can Dan, James, and Scott sit back and allow these auto-tuned, electronic sounding "rock" bands to fill the airwaves! The masses will hear Linear Aggression and wonder how they ever put up with complexity beforehand.

 

Long Live Simple!

 

Long Live Rock 'n' Roll!

 

Long Live Linear Aggression!

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